There’s a great plague that has propagated throughout our culture the last 50 years… concocted by the PMA movement in the 1970s – the Positive Mental Attitude movement… which gave birth to what is called the modern “self-help” industry today… which has bloomed into a full-flung plague that is virally spread and expanded every day, all day on social media…
It is the fairy tale that if you just think happy… think positive… happy and positive things will happen for you.
That’s horse pucky. And a lie… one that is hurting you and actually stunting your growth.
If you are unhappy with your current results it is precisely because you have been lying to yourself. Your lie has allowed it.
You’ve been telling yourself a story… a fairy tale. You’ve turned your head from the truth. You’ve been looking the other way. You’ve purposely avoided the reality in the mirror.
If you’re fat… thinking positively isn’t gonna make you thin.
If you’re broke… affirmations aren’t going to pay off your debt.
If you’re a crappy husband, wife, mother or father… chanting “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better”… isn’t actually going to make it better.
In fact, research will even tell you that when self-perception races ahead of reality it stunts you psychologically and turns you into a socially inept misfit.
Those who are called self-enhancers… tend to be internally and externally hostile, lack social skills, and appear anxious and moody.
They are extra sensitive to criticism and keep people at a distance — so that they don’t get feedback that might alter their overly positive view. They are trying to hide their flaws from themselves and others.
But they don’t fool anyone. Even their pals describe self-enhancers as hostile, condescending, and unable to self-control.
This also sabotages their ability to grow, improve and become better… A self-enhancer is intrinsically motivated to maintain this delusional positive self-image by selecting easy tasks and rejecting more difficult tasks and avoiding the critical feedback needed for improvement in order to maintain their fantasy self-image.
And now they are actually a danger to society. Anytime our lives are driven by something outside of truth and reality, we become a danger to ourselves and everyone around us.
If you are fat, admit it. Say it: “I am fat.”
Repeat that several times. Write that down on a piece of paper and put that up on the refrigerator.
Even better… strip naked, stand in front of a full-length mirror and snap an edited and unenhanced selfie. Put THAT up on the fridge so you are forced to look at it every time you open the refrigerator door.
If you’re broke, write that down. I am smart, capable, live in America (or whatever first world country you live in)… and am broke.
Print out your pitiful bank account balance and put that up on your bathroom mirror. Look at it every morning before you begin your day.
If you are not the husband you could be and should be… write that down – I am failing as a husband. Pin that to the dashboard of your car.
Let the pain of the TRUTH finally drive you to DO something about it. Because THAT is the only thing that is going to change your current situation – DOING THE WORK.
Stop trying to make yourself feel better by saying everything is okay and that you are great.
It’s not okay and you are not great.
You CAN be, but you are not.
Deal with it. Face that first. Start with the truth.
Only DOING something about it is going to make you actually feel better. Taking ACTION towards a problem – that is what makes it better so you can feel better. not the other way around.
Growth and improvement is a product of action, not affirmation. Affirmation leads to delusion. Only ACTION sets you free.
You cannot look at your bicep and say… you are getting bigger and stronger in every way every day. No, you have to go take it into the gym and do the work. Period.
You want to feel better on the inside… then do better on the outside. Action is always your way out. Work is always the remedy.