<div class="at-above-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://darrenhardy.com/blog/the-power-of-your-why-how-to-overcome-any-obstacle"></div><p>There were two warring tribes that not-so-peacefully co-existed—one that lived in the lowlands and the other, high in the mountains.</p>
<p>One day, the mountain people invaded the lowlanders; plundering and kidnapping a baby from the village. They vanished with the child and took her back up into the mountains.</p>
<p>The lowlanders outraged at the disappearance of one of their own were pushed into action… but the lowlanders didn&#8217;t know how to climb the mountain.</p>
<p>They didn&#8217;t know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn&#8217;t know where to find the mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain.</p>
<p>Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home.</p>
<p>The men tried first one method of climbing and then another. They tried one trail and then another.</p>
<p>After several days of effort, however, they had climbed only several hundred feet.</p>
<p>Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below.</p>
<p>As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby&#8217;s mother walking toward them. They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn&#8217;t figured out how to climb.</p>
<p>And then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How could that be?</p>
<p>One man greeted her and said, &#8220;We couldn&#8217;t climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn&#8217;t do it?&#8221;</p>
<p>She shrugged her shoulders and said intently&#8230;<br />
&#8220;IT WASN’T YOUR BABY.&#8221;</p>
<p>The power of your why is what will power you to overcome any obstacle and achieve the seemingly impossible.</p>
<p>Unleash the power of your &#8220;why&#8221; by <a href="https://join.darrenhardy.com/jumpstart/?utm_source=wordpress&amp;utm_medium=post&amp;utm_campaign=jumpstart">joining Jumpstart today</a>!</p>
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The Power of Your Why, How to Overcome Any Obstacle

<div class="at-above-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://darrenhardy.com/blog/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-i-turned-30"></div><p>I was recently asked, &#8220;What do you think someone should learn before they turn 30?&#8221;</p>
<p>It&#8217;s a great question&#8230; an important one.<br />
And a question I wished I had asked back yonder to someone old (like me)&#8230; someone with actual experience and results to draw from&#8230;. and someone who cared enough to tell it to me straight, no holds barred.</p>
<p>Thinking about it now&#8230; man, how many painful missteps I could have avoided and how my journey would have been accelerated if someone older, wiser, who cared, told me straight, what I will be telling you.</p>
<p>I ask you, if you know anyone sub-30&#8230; that you care about, be sure they read this&#8230;</p>
<p>And if you are post-30, don&#8217;t think for a second that you are off the hook. All of this, we all need reminding of&#8230; and I am going to say right now, as we get further into this mini-adventure, I&#8217;m betting you are still struggling with some of these life challenges and need this advice even more urgently than your younger brethren, so please go deeply with us as we traverse this adventure.</p>
<p><strong>What I know now&#8230;</strong><br />
That thing you went through recently&#8230; called school. Yaaaa, that wasn&#8217;t your (real) education.</p>
<p>School is just a place adults send you during the day while they go out to work, make a living and pay for all the food, shelter, books, and sports uniforms you were going to want. It&#8217;s like government subsidized day care.</p>
<p>Now, they DID kinda hope you were taught HOW to learn&#8230; and how to get along in strange tribes of other humans. If you survive that, that will be useful later in life.</p>
<p>Formal schooling is more of a maturation phase, rather than teaching you what you need to know to prosper out in the wild.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ve probably already figured out that most everything you studied in school, is well, pretty much useless out in the wild of the real world.</p>
<p>So, on behalf of the older generation&#8230; sorry about that.<br />
It’s kind of a crappy set up, I know.<br />
And we should have fixed it by now, buuuut we haven&#8217;t.</p>
<p>#1 Advice Before You Turn 30<br />
So, now&#8230; if you want to succeed, live well and do work that matters&#8230; you have to begin your (real) education. That begins RIGHT NOW.</p>
<p>It starts with the discovery of yourself&#8230; Learning about yourself&#8230; and working on your SELF. This is called self-improvement. Without it, you&#8217;ll be left behind.</p>
<p>Discovering your unique strengths and identifying those limiting weaknesses that could sabotage and hinder your ability to succeed will be critical.</p>
<h2>The Skills You Must Develop</h2>
<p>You&#8217;ll need to develop actual, useful skills.<br />
Skills used out in the marketplace&#8230; in the real world.</p>
<p>Now if you&#8217;re asking&#8230; and I hope you are&#8230; Which skill should you start with? That&#8217;s a great question.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s my answer: I suggest starting with SALES.</p>
<p>Learning to communicate confidently, empathetically and influentially&#8230;</p>
<p>Learning to present, persuade, overcome obstacles and deal with rejection&#8230;</p>
<p>In my view is one of the most important skills you can ever gain.</p>
<p>Even if you don&#8217;t want to be in &#8220;sales&#8221; you will quickly learn that EVERYTHING in life is sales. I mean everything. Full stop.</p>
<p>Develop this skill and its like obtaining the key to the vault. With it you can open the door&#8230; and there is an endless supply of abundance inside.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t care if you want to be an engineer, a coder, a game designer, an architect, a doctor, an artist, an interior designer, a project manager or domestic engineer&#8230; every single endeavor you can think of requires you selling your ideas, your opinions and influencing others. Everything.</p>
<h2>The Best Work Does Not Always Win</h2>
<p>You have to understand, that the best products, the best ideas, the best work DOES NOT win. When dealing with human beings, it comes down to which products, ideas and work is better communicated, marketed and sold&#8230; that WINS. Period. Full stop.</p>
<p>You want to accelerate your heroic journey?<br />
Enjoy the life most people will only admire and envy from a distance? Go do an apprenticeship. Go get a job in sales. Preferably something hard to sell and something that has to be sold live and in person &#8211; face-to-face or over the phone.</p>
<p>Now, it doesn&#8217;t have to be for the rest of your life, but go do it for a year or two. Face the process of what it takes to win friends and influence people.</p>
<p>The rest of your life will be better for it, I promise. WITHOUT this muscle of this essential skill, I am afraid you will struggle with most everything&#8230; and never be strong enough to rise above your peers and live the life you were meant to live.</p>
<p>I implore you, do not neglect the development of this vital skill.</p>
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What I Wish I Knew Before I Turned 30

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			<p>If you&#8217;re looking for the ultimate shortcut to success, then your <strong>#1 priority should be to learn how to find a mentor or a <a href="/posts/what-is-leadership">great leader</a> to emulate.</strong> This one trick will help you fast forward through years of:</p>
<ul>
<li>reading success &amp; leadership books</li>
<li>attending seminars</li>
<li>and maybe even therapy</li>
</ul>
<p>It gets better. By finding a mentor, you could gain:</p>
<ul>
<li>better <a href="/posts/leadership-skills">leadership skills</a></li>
<li>better people skills</li>
<li>decisiveness under pressure</li>
<li>become a world class salesman or saleswoman</li>
<li>learn the secret to get the body of your dreams</li>
</ul>
<p><em>Wait! Doesn&#8217;t it take years to master these skills?</em> Nope. All of this is possible for you to obtain faster than you could imagine.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re looking for a direct highway to success, just do this one thing:</p>
<p><strong>Study, follow, read, watch videos about, and surround yourself with</strong> mentors and leaders who ALREADY have the characteristics you want.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s how this works. It&#8217;s been proven that humans adopt the tendencies and behaviors of those around us. We all tend to <a href="https://medium.com/the-mission/the-surprising-truth-about-why-we-tend-to-imitate-others-b15831070cd9" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">mimic the people we like</a>, and we do it subconsciously. Scientists say we do this because it helps us to survive. People <a href="http://socialpsychonline.com/2015/06/3-reasons-why-you-need-to-pay-more-attention-to-peoples-body-language-now/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">like and trust us more if our behaviors are similar to theirs</a> (so we boost social interactions by mimicry). But the &#8220;why we do it&#8221; isn&#8217;t important. The fact is we are amazing at mimicry. Study a great leader and very soon, you&#8217;ll find yourself mimicking their:</p>
<ul>
<li>gestures</li>
<li>how they handle themselves &#8211; including posture &amp; confidence</li>
<li><a href="http://mentalfloss.com/article/64262/we-mimic-speech-patterns-people-we-agree" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">speech patterns</a> &#8211; accent/pronunciation, pacing, &amp; intonation</li>
<li>how they relate to people</li>
<li>their success habits and disciplines</li>
<li>even their happiness and general attitude toward life</li>
</ul>
<p>All of this can be mimicked and adopted.</p>
<p>Angry at the world?<br />
You could sidestep years of therapy by finding a mentor who is supremely positive and happy.</p>
<p>Want to be a better speaker?<br />
You could <strong>hire a speech coach and spend thousands</strong>, or instead, you might try this. Select your favorite TED talk and watch it 40x. You don&#8217;t have to intentionally look for the speakers hand gestures, the timing in which she delivers her best points, or how she connects with the crowd. Your brain will do it subconsciously.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s for this same reason that my mentor, Jim Rohn, said to very careful when you select your friends. The power of proximity and mimicking effects work when you&#8217;re surrounded by them as well. In fact, according to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, the people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.</p>
<p>The question is, WHO to choose as a mentor, and if it&#8217;s not a famous person, how to find them.</p>
<h2>3 Easy Tips for Finding a Mentor</h2>
<p>Many people realize they need a mentor, but don&#8217;t know how to find one. Finding a mentor could take a lot of work. It may even take a bit of a financial commitment, especially if you&#8217;re trying to attract a millionaire mentor. But you don&#8217;t have to <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2018/04/11/31-year-old-millionaire-i-spent-70000-on-mentorship-in-6-months.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">spend thousands to find a mentor</a>. People frequently ask me <strong>how you ask someone to be your mentor.</strong> The truth is, I never asked any of my millionaire mentors to &#8220;be my mentor.&#8221; I simply studied them, mimicked their success, and requested advice whenever I could.</p>
<h2>Entrepreneurs &#8211; Your #1 Trap Finding a Mentor</h2>
<p>If you&#8217;re in business, there are so many <a href="/posts/leadership-qualities-best-leaders">great leaders</a> you could read about, study, and mirror.</p>
<ul>
<li>Steve Jobs</li>
<li>Jeff Bezos</li>
<li>Oprah Winfrey</li>
<li>Mark Cuban</li>
</ul>
<p>The list could go on an on. But I think <strong>there&#8217;s a trap in selecting a business leader to emulate. </strong> As I&#8217;ve gotten older and matured, I&#8217;ve learned how to avoid this trap and want to share my discovery with you here. It all starts with the story of the first great leader I aspired to be like.</p>
<h2>The First Leader I Strove to Emulate</h2>
<p>You may know I am the <a href="https://www.success.com/darren-hardy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">former publisher of SUCCESS Magazine.</a> During my time there, I enjoyed the <strong>exclusive opportunity to interview guys and gals who are billionaires</strong> and who have built world-class companies. If I am being candid with you; after spending time with many of them, my walkaway conclusion was… <em>They don’t seem THAT smart&#8230;</em> Heck, if THEY can do this, no doubt you can… and you should! I&#8217;ve found over and over, success is not about your intellect. It&#8217;s highly driven by the key success principle revealed in this article:</p>
<blockquote><p>
<strong>Find a model of what you want and then do what they have done.</strong>
</p></blockquote>
<p>Well, Richard Branson was my model. The dude just exudes, fun, coolness, am I right? And he’s a billionaire who has his own private island… and spends a lot of his time wake boarding with supermodels on his back. He&#8217;s even been on Shark Tank!</p>
<p>Come on, how sweet is that?! So Richard was my model.</p>
<p><strong>Until I got to know him. </strong></p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy. And he IS cool. But, after getting up close and personal with the dynamics of his life… I realized how different we are. Richard thrives on complexity. He likes having 400 plates spinning and doesn’t mind if a few fall.</p>
<blockquote><p>
<strong>He and Virgin have 125 lawsuits pending at any one time.</strong>
</p></blockquote>
<p>Lawsuits as chairman of the board, he is named in personally. It’s part of the game he is in. He doesn’t mind it at all. Under the gun of all that, he’s still cool as a cat. Now 125 lawsuits would send me to the loony bin! <em><strong>I realized then how much I didn’t want to be Richard Branson.</strong></em></p>
<p>That setup works for him—really well (obviously). Not me. I realized then how much <strong>I thrive on simplicity.</strong> I like uncomplicated. I like staying out of the courtroom and the press. I thrive on doing a few things, really, really well. I thrive on delivering excellence… in everything I do. Which means, for me, it&#8217;s better to do fewer things. Fewer things, done excellently = happiness for me. However, and this is the key lesson here, <strong>Richard is still an incredible resource of inspiration for me.</strong> Not because I want his results, but for many of his brilliant methods for creating those results.</p>
<ul>
<li>I want his steadfast and unshakable focus.</li>
<li>I like how he makes his employees the highest priority (over customers and shareholders).</li>
<li>I admire his willingness to try anything and laugh at failure if it doesn’t work.</li>
<li>I respect his willingness to take big risks, yet always protect the downside.</li>
<li>I like how he always makes “will this be fun” a criterion for whether he does a business deal or not.</li>
<li>I think it’s awesome how he always positions his endeavors as the underdog, fighting injustice for the little guy against the Goliath who has created an injustice.</li>
<li>And more.</li>
</ul>
<p>So when it comes to finding a mentor or emulating great leaders, here is the first lesson I have learned:</p>
<blockquote><p>
<strong>Don’t compare yourself to the results of others, but find inspiration in their methods of success.</strong>
</p></blockquote>
<p>Don&#8217;t wish for someone else&#8217;s results, instead work on gaining the mindset, philosophy, behavior, habits, and attributes they possess to create those kinds of results… to accomplish whatever YOU want—no matter how complicated or how simple you want your life or business to be.</p>
<h2>Choose the Right Types of Leaders and Mentors</h2>
<p>Now that we&#8217;ve established that you shouldn&#8217;t try to emulate every aspect of your mentor&#8217;s life, I want to share a couple more traps I&#8217;ve fallen into&#8230;</p>
<p>#1 &#8211; Emulating only famous people<br />
#2 &#8211; Emulating only one type of leader</p>
<p>Earlier in this article, I mentioned choosing leaders like Oprah, Steve Jobs, and Mark Cuban as mentors. While these are excellent choices for any high achiever to follow, you may see a couple of problems&#8230; all these leaders are entrepreneurs, and they&#8217;re all famous &#8211; meaning most people reading this don&#8217;t know Oprah or Mark personally.</p>
<p><strong>You actually want a variety of leaders, mentors, and coaches in your life.</strong> And some of them should be people you even know!</p>
<p>Let me help summarize and organize the different role models and coaches you want to consider obtaining and their purpose into a clear and actionable plan for you. I’ll outline them briefly now so that you can design and develop your coaching team. Okay, first of all, are your two sets of advisors—your inner circle and your outer circle.</p>
<h3><strong>YOUR INNER CIRCLE</strong></h3>
<p>Your <strong>inner circle</strong> is something you are probably already aware of and already utilize on a regular basis. These are <a href="https://www.wbsllc.com/blog/leadership-posts/leadership-inner-circle/#.XAbPqOhKiUk" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the people you work with</a>, or the people who work for you. These are the members of your leadership team or other vendors, suppliers and partners. These people have a <strong>vested interest in your success.</strong> YOUR success IS their success. You want to make sure you know exactly who they are and are utilizing them to the fullest. These people are essentially paid to advise you, BUT you have to often pull the advice out of them and then listen.</p>
<p><strong>But be warned, often times their advice is biased or guarded.</strong></p>
<p>They are either driving an agenda or are afraid to be candid as you are the hand that feeds them and they were raised to never, under any circumstances, bite it. There is usually VERY LITTLE value or incentive for your inner circle to give you the sometimes brutal, but often needed feedback and advice you really need. Oh, I know you can tell them how it is safe for them to be honest and forthright for you, but it ain’t gonna happen. Understand their position—they have very little to gain and everything to lose telling you something you might not like hearing.</p>
<h3><strong>YOUR OUTER CIRCLE</strong></h3>
<p>THAT is why you need an <strong>outer circle</strong> of advisors. Smart, experienced and insightful people who have NO vested interest in your success. While they might WANT to see you succeed, if you do, they are not going to gain anything. And they are not beholden to you, meaning if you don’t like their feedback, it doesn’t put any compensation or business agenda in jeopardy for them. These people are fully unencumbered to <a href="https://www.inc.com/jayson-demers/7-key-qualities-of-an-effective-mentor.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">let you have it and just tell you like they see it.</a> This is a great group of advisors for you to go to work on putting together.</p>
<h3><strong>ROLE MODELS</strong></h3>
<p>The next group I suggest you put together are <strong>role models</strong>—and here&#8217;s where you want to be careful NOT to choose one from just one area of life. You want a role model for each of the eight areas on your <strong>Wheel of Life</strong>. The Wheel of Life is something I outline in the <a href="https://go.darrenhardy.com/living-your-best-year-ever-resources/?utm_source=wordpress&amp;utm_medium=dhblog-post&amp;utm_campaign=living-your-best-year-ever&amp;utm_term=how-to-find-a-mentor" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>Living Your Best Year Ever</em></a> goal achievement system. The eight areas are:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Physical</strong>, meaning your health</li>
<li><strong>Relationship</strong>, meaning your significant other</li>
<li><strong>Family</strong>, meaning your kids and extended family members</li>
<li><strong>Spiritual</strong></li>
<li><strong>Financial</strong></li>
<li><strong>Business</strong></li>
<li><strong>Lifestyle</strong></li>
<li><strong>Mental</strong>, meaning your personal growth and development</li>
</ol>
<p>What I suggest you have is a role model for each area. This is someone whom you look up to, someone whom you want to live up to. Having this person as a reference will help you make better choices and behavior decisions, and if you study them, you will become like them. For instance, you probably figured out that my role model <strong>for business</strong> is Richard Branson. I might think, what choice would Branson make in this situation? How would he handle this problem? How would he communicate this to his team? Etc. And there is another key point, you don’t have to be personal friends with your role models.</p>
<p>Find someone you relate with, then learn all you can about him or her so they can be a reference in philosophical thinking and decision making. One person might encompass several areas but it is unlikely one person will be the example you want to live up to in all eight areas. It’s good to have different role models for different areas. I can tell you, every day I am using one of my role models to guide me in my decision making and behavior improvement. Whether it is my marriage role model, my fitness role model, my lifestyle role model, etc. It’s a really powerful guidance system. I highly recommend you design this for yourself.</p>
<h3><strong>YOUR HIRED COACHES</strong></h3>
<p>The last two are your actual <strong>hired coaches</strong>. People whom you pay to train you. The two categories are:</p>
<ol>
<li>a <strong>Season </strong>focused coach</li>
<li>and <strong>Skill</strong> focused coaches</li>
</ol>
<p>We are always going through different seasons. Depending on the season you are going through you should have a really great coach to help see you through it.</p>
<p>Seasons might be things like: the start-up phase of a new business—get a great business startup coach. Maybe you are going through a difficult marriage season—get a great coach to help you. Maybe you are dealing with some mid-life crisis issues. Hey, people do! A great coach can be very useful to you. God forbid, maybe you have to liquidate your business or deal with a child going through drug abuse, whatever. These are real life situations and you can prevent a lot of further problems and save a lot of time, money and anguish if you hire a great coach to help you.</p>
<p>The last group is <strong>Skill focused coaches</strong>.</p>
<p>I always recommend that you double down on a particular skill every quarter. For example, skills like Public speaking, marketing copywriting, time management/productivity, sales, recruiting, persuasive communication, financial literacy, etc. Whatever <a href="https://new.coachingnetwork.org.uk/information-portal/what-are-coaching-and-mentoring/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">skill is most important to you</a> accomplishing your number one goal for the year; go for mastery on that skill.</p>
<p>Now you don’t HAVE to go out and hire someone specifically. You can go and obtain the tools and training materials someone might have available. You can be well mentored through books, seminars and audio and video programs. Additionally, your coach doesn’t even need to be alive. I have been using <a href="/posts/leadership-qualities-best-leaders">Abraham Lincoln as my leadership mentor</a> this quarter. Alive or dead, in person or through materials, those factors don’t matter. What matters is you pick a key skill you are going to double down on, pick a mentor and attack it.</p>
<p>And if you haven&#8217;t signed up for FREE daily mentoring with me, join me and 350,000+ other high achievers who kickstart their day with Darren Daily. <u><a href="https://darrenhardy.com/darrendaily/">Click here to sign up here for free.</a></u></p>

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How to Find a Mentor & the Best Leaders to Emulate

<div class="at-above-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://darrenhardy.com/blog/georgia-hardy"></div><p>When I was single and ready to find my mate and get married, I made a long list of traits I desired in the perfect woman (for me).</p>
<p>I filled more than forty pages of a journal, front and back, describing her in great detail—her personality, character, key attributes, attitudes, and philosophies about life, even what kind of family she’d come from, including her culture and physical makeup, down to the texture of her hair.</p>
<p>I wrote in depth what our life would be like and what we’d do together. If I had then asked, “What do I have to do to find and get this girl?” I might still be on that butterfly chase.</p>
<p>Instead, I looked back at the list and considered whether or not I embodied those same attributes myself. Did I have the very qualities I was expecting in her? I asked myself, “What kind of a man would a woman like this be looking for? Who do I need to become to be attractive to a woman of this substance?”</p>
<p>I filled forty more pages describing all the attributes, qualities, behaviors, attitudes, and characteristics I needed to become myself. Then I went to work on becoming and achieving those qualities.</p>
<p>Guess what? It worked! As if she were peeled off the pages of my journal and appeared in front of me, my wife, Georgia, is exactly what I described and asked for, in almost eerie detail.</p>
<p>You might not know this…</p>
<p>But every New Years’ Georgia and I find a mountain top or a beach and do something special.</p>
<p>Taken👇 after this &#8220;something special&#8221; last year.</p>
<p><img loading="lazy" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3203" src="https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/DnG_LBYE-emailimg.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="433" data-wp-editing="1" srcset="https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/DnG_LBYE-emailimg.jpg 500w, https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/DnG_LBYE-emailimg-300x260.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></p>
<p>It started on the day I proposed to her.<br />
The day was 01/01/01. ←Cool, right? I thought so! 😆</p>
<p>We were at the top of the Marin Headlands. The view from there is absolutely breathtaking.</p>
<p>It looks like this.👇</p>
<p><img loading="lazy" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3204" src="https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/MarinHeadlands-emailimg.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="290" srcset="https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/MarinHeadlands-emailimg.jpg 500w, https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/MarinHeadlands-emailimg-300x174.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></p>
<p>After some prepared eats and treats (and wine!)&#8230; I suggested we each write down 10 goals (privately) we each had for the New Year ahead.</p>
<p>I handed her one of my special journals. And we wrote in silence for 20 minutes. Then I suggested we share our goals from #10 up.</p>
<p>When we finally got to my #1… I swung around in front (yes, on bended knee!), pulled out a (big) rock in a box and said&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8220;My number one goal in the New Year, and in life… Is to become your husband. Will you marry me?&#8221;</p>
<p>(Yeah, more was said, but hey… some things have to remain mum 😉)</p>
<p>8 months and 19 days later, we were married. ✅</p>
<p><img loading="lazy" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3205" src="https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/GDWedding2-emailimg.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="334" srcset="https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/GDWedding2-emailimg.jpg 500w, https://darrenhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/GDWedding2-emailimg-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></p>
<p>We have been writing our goals together every January 1 of the New Year ever since.</p>
<p>I tell you all this to say&#8230;<br />
THIS STUFF WORKS!! 😆</p>
<p>The <a href="https://store.darrenhardy.com/collections/merchandise/products/living-your-best-year-ever"><em>Living Your Best Year Ever </em></a>is that special journal I mentioned. It’s THE playbook I have used to design, stick to, and achieve all my big, hairy, and audacious goals in life.</p>
<p>Kinda like the Hair Club guy used to say… “I&#8217;m not only the author, but I&#8217;m also a client!”</p>
<p>If you want a fresh <a href="https://store.darrenhardy.com/collections/merchandise/products/living-your-best-year-ever"><em>Living Your Best Year Ever</em></a>&#8230; you&#8217;ll need to order it now. For what&#8230; 39 bucks (!!??)&#8230; You can transform two Jacksons into a lifetime of realized dreams, goals, and ambitions.</p>
<p>They make EXCELLENT 🎁🎁 too.<br />
One they will remember you for every day, all year long!</p>
<p>Oh, one last tip… After we complete our goals, we always pop a bottle and toast in the New Year 🥂🍾. (Champagne or sparkling cider, you pick! 😋)</p>

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Meet Darren Hardy’s Wife – Georgia Hardy

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			<p>Courage is overrated.</p>
<p>&#8230;At least, <em>overestimated.</em> You don’t have to <em>live</em> courageously.</p>
<p>In fact, you can be a coward 99.9305556% of the time (to be exact).<br />
<strong>You only need to muster up 20 seconds of insane courage at a time.</strong></p>
<h4>Those 20 seconds when…</h4>
<p>…you pick up the phone to call that “big kahuna” prospect.<br />
…you see your dream client enter the networking meeting.<br />
…you walk up to a circle of strangers and introduce yourself.<br />
…you volunteer to come up on stage.<br />
…you contemplate jumping into the icy cold water.<br />
…you are arguing with your spouse and choose to relent.<br />
…you are slighted and decide to let it go and forgive.<br />
…you know you need to have a tough conversation with a friend.<br />
…you know it’s time to let someone go.<br />
…you need to say “no” even though it will make you unpopular.<br />
…you ready yourself to jump out of the plane.</p>
<p>Each one of those defining moments only requires 20 seconds of real courage at the most. Once the 20 seconds are over, it’s easy breezy from there.</p>
<blockquote><p>
<em> “Courage is not simply one of the virtues</em> <em>but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” —C.S. Lewis</em>
</p></blockquote>
<h2>How to Overcome Fear and Muster Up 20 Seconds of Courage</h2>
<p>Fear Is Not Real. As <a href="https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/8-really-effective-tricks-to-boost-your-courage.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Minda Zetlin</a> puts it, &#8220;It&#8217;s just chemicals.&#8221;</p>
<p>Sure, it feels real—the pounding heart, knocking knees, and sweaty palms. Those are real enough symptoms, but the thing we&#8217;re actually afraid of is an illusion, <strong>an invention of the mind.</strong></p>
<p>Ultimately, a spider can’t make you scared. A prospecting call can’t make you scared. The only thing that can make you scared is how your mind interprets those things. Fear is a phenomenon that resides entirely within your own brain. It’s the mind that gives every interpretation meaning—it’s your mind that conjures the negative emotion. Fear itself doesn’t actually exist. It&#8217;s an illusion. And once reality takes over, the illusion dissipates.</p>
<h3>How Fear Works: And How to Choose Insane Courage Instead</h3>
<p>Fear mostly comes <strong>in anticipation</strong> of experience, <strong>not in the experience itself.</strong> Let’s take jumping out of an airplane as an example. Seymour Epstein of the University of Massachusetts at Amherst <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/extreme-fear/201003/whats-the-scariest-part-frightening-experience" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">conducted a study</a> in which novice jumpers were fitted with heart rate monitors that measured their pulses as their plane climbed upward toward its release point.</p>
<p>He found that the <strong>jumpers’ heart rates got faster and faster until just before they jumped.</strong> But once they were out of the plane, their heart rates <strong>declined</strong> dramatically. The most stressful part of the entire experience was the illusion, or anticipation, of the event. Once the reality of the event (free falling) took over, the fear vanished.</p>
<p>In other words&#8230;</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s the definition of courage&#8230;. KNOWING you will experience fear, but doing it anyway!</p>
<p>Want to meet an influencer at a conference? Just walk across the room. KNOW those 20 seconds will require insane courage, and then the fear will DRAMATICALLY decrease.</p>
<h3>So what do you do when you hit the wall of fear?</h3>
<p>You do this: You shut off your brain, close your eyes, hold your breath (if you need to) and do what every corpuscle of your body insists you don’t—RUN RIGHT AT IT! You’ll break through the wall of fear in less than 20 seconds.</p>
<blockquote><p>
What if you did something you fear three times a day, every day?
</p></blockquote>
<p>That was Eleanor Roosevelt&#8217;s prescription for success: Imagine how doing so would multiply your success, lifestyle, and prominence in the marketplace. Think of the <strong>breakthroughs</strong> you could create. You could still be a coward 99.9305556% of the time—a really rich and successful coward! <em>The math: 20 seconds of courage X 3 times a day = 60 seconds. 60 seconds pided by 86,400 seconds in a day = 99.9305556%.</em> What will you accomplish with your insane courage this week?</p>
<p><strong>Want MORE courage? MORE inspiration?</strong> If you haven&#8217;t signed up for FREE daily mentoring with me, join me and 350,000+ other high achievers who kickstart their day with Darren Daily. <a href="https://darrenhardy.com/darrendaily/">Click here to sign up here for free.</a></p>

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How to Destroy Fear with 20 Seconds of Courage

<div class="at-above-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://darrenhardy.com/blog/how-to-achieve-big-goals"></div><p>I recently received a question from a DarrenHardy.com reader asking about strategies for achieving a big goal.</p>
<p>The email came in from Nichol who wrote: &#8220;Hi Darren, I really struggle with goal setting. I get really frustrated and discouraged when I don’t accomplish what I wanted to. I don’t know if the goal is too lofty to be realized or if I need to figure out new strategies for achieving it. Is there any advice on formulating a goal? And how to handle it when you don’t succeed?&#8221;</p>
<p>I love this question, and since it took me over 15 minutes to respond, I thought you would also benefit from my answer if you&#8217;ve got big goals. <em>(Note: I modified my original answer slightly for the blog, adding some headings and links for better user experience)</em></p>
<p>&#8220;Hi Nichol, well, besides referring you to the <a href="https://go.darrenhardy.com/living-your-best-year-ever-resources?utm_source=wordpress&amp;utm_medium=dhblog-post&amp;utm_campaign=living-your-best-year-ever&amp;utm_term=3-easy-steps-bhag" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Living Your Best Year Ever</a> program where I outline my entire goal designing and goal achieving system&#8230; let me just focus on the frustration and discouragement you are experiencing and see if I can give you a couple of those strategies you desire. Start off with this, once you have set those Big, Hairy and Audacious Goals that you want to achieve&#8230; <strong>forget them.</strong></p>
<p>Yeah, stop focusing on them. Instead, do these three things. You ready? You&#8217;re going to want to write these down:</p>
<h2>#1 &#8211; The Step-by-Step Goal Crushing Plan</h2>
<p>One, focus on the PROCESS, not the result. Set PROCESS goals. A process goal is what you will actually have to DO, step-by-step to achieve a larger goal. For instance, if you are trying to lose 15 lbs&#8230; the process goal could be to eat and drink no more than 1500 calories per day. If you are trying to become the number one salesperson in your office by increasing your sales by 50%, then your process goal can be to call 5 potential clients before lunch every day. If your goal is to write a book, then your process goal can be to write 1,000 words a week or only 200 a day.</p>
<p>Track and monitor your process achievements. <strong>Make a game of it.</strong> Compete with yourself by trying best your process goals each day, each week. Okay, got that one?</p>
<p><strong>Free Resource:</strong> Want to learn more specific examples of how to include &#8220;gamification&#8221; in your big goals? In <a href="https://www.almightyencounter.com/?utm_source=wordpress&amp;utm_medium=dhblog-post&amp;utm_campaign=ipl-the-almighty-encounter&amp;utm_term=3-easy-steps-bhag">&#8220;The Almighty Encounter,&#8221;</a> I interviewed an extraordinarily successful centenarian, asking him his top 3 keys to success. Making life a game was one of them. You&#8217;ll enjoy his examples. <a href="https://www.almightyencounter.com/?utm_source=wordpress&amp;utm_medium=dhblog-post&amp;utm_campaign=ipl-the-almighty-encounter&amp;utm_term=3-easy-steps-bhag">Click here to request an invitation.</a></p>
<h2>#2 &#8211; Choose System Over Goals</h2>
<p>Next, number Two, focus on a SYSTEM versus your goals. Losing 15 pounds is a goal, learning to eat right is a system. Get the system right, eating right is easy, thus so is the outcome of losing 15 pounds. <a href="/posts/productivity">Doubling your productivity</a> and income is a goal. Learning to prevent distraction and stay focused on vital work requires a system. Increasing the intimacy in your marriage is a goal. Calendaring time and experiences to do so is a system. Systems ALWAYS trump goals. Whatever your goals, be sure you have a system to achieve those goals. And then focus on the system from that point forward, not the goals. Process, not end goals. System to implement and keep you sticking to that process&#8230; <strong>Free Resource:</strong> One of the ways to accomplish your System goals is to master productivity. In <a href="https://go.darrenhardy.com/insider-secrets/?utm_source=wordpress&amp;utm_medium=dhblog-post&amp;utm_campaign=ipl-insider-secrets-broadcast&amp;utm_term=3-easy-steps-bhag">this free online workshop</a>, I reveal 3 insider secrets to stay focused and accomplish more. <a href="https://go.darrenhardy.com/insider-secrets/?utm_source=wordpress&amp;utm_medium=dhblog-post&amp;utm_campaign=ipl-insider-secrets-broadcast&amp;utm_term=3-easy-steps-bhag">Click here to request an invite.</a></p>
<h2>#3 &#8211; Get Better Every Day: Growth Produces Goals</h2>
<p>And number three, focus on GROWTH, not goals. When I asked Pete Cashmore, Founder, and CEO of Mashable, who started with a blog written from the basement of his mom’s house in Scotland&#8230; and went on to then become worth more than $100 million in his twenties how he did it, he said, “I just want to be better today, than I was yesterday, and better tomorrow, than I am today. Every day I want to grow.” When asking Richard Branson what his initial goal was when he started he said, “When my friends and I started the first Virgin business 40 years ago, we had no master plan—especially not one for a group of companies that by 2011 would number more than 400 businesses around the world and employ 50,000 people. Had we tried to set a goal for such a future, we would certainly have messed it up. Luckily we just focused on how to grow and get better every day.” That should be your main goal as well.</p>
<blockquote><p>Worry less about your big, hairy and audacious goal and just focus on learning and growing every day.</p></blockquote>
<p>And by the way, that is why we produce Darren Daily for you every morning&#8230; that is our process goal. We are here to help you be #BetterEveryDay. So, I’m glad you found us. Every day should be an adventure in learning, growth and mental and emotional progress. As Abraham Lincoln said, “I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” So Nichol&#8230; and everyone else&#8230; because you showed up here today, you are now wiser today than you were yesterday. But be sure to get back here tomorrow so you can be wiser tomorrow than you are today.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Free Resource:</strong> One of the ways we help you get better every day and achieve your goals is by offering <a href="https://darrenhardy.com/darrendaily/">Darren Daily</a>. If you haven&#8217;t signed up for FREE daily mentoring with me, join me and 350,000+ other high achievers who kickstart their day with Darren Daily. <a href="https://darrenhardy.com/darrendaily/" rel=" noopener">Click here to sign up here for free.</a></p>
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Category: Success & Goal Achievement

The Power of Your Why, How to Overcome Any Obstacle

What I Wish I Knew Before I Turned 30

How to Find a Mentor & the Best Leaders to Emulate

Meet Darren Hardy’s Wife – Georgia Hardy

How to Destroy Fear with 20 Seconds of Courage

3 Easy Steps to Achieve Your Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal